When Will Power Isn't Enough

It's the year 2026 and as the children get settled into their term-time routines, their biggest challenge as budding musicians this year will be to maintain consistency in their music studies and practice.

And I can relate. Consistency, I think, is probably the biggest challenge known to man. How do we keep doing what we know to be right, day in, day out, week in, week out, without getting weary? If we are honest with ourselves, we know that will power, of itself, is not enough to see us through. Even will power gets tired.

The one thing that helps us maintain consistency in anything, is structure. Structure enables routines to form and, in time, those routines become habits that are second nature.

In Successful Music Parenting, I address some of the challenges we face as music parents and how we can address them. How do we create routines that make music practice as normal for the children as cleaning their teeth or taking a shower each day?

Spending time playing music needs to become part and parcel of the daily rhythm of the home. This doesn't happen by chance. It happens by design. No toddler, ever, willingly brushes their teeth. But with constant repetition, they (hopefully) get to a poit where they do it without thinking and without needing to be reminded. And that habit / routine, stays with them for the rest of their lives.

So, going in to 2026, do not despair if your children don't take to music lessons or to practising their instrument like a duck to water. It will take time. And, we, the adults in their lives, need to give gentle, creative, yet unyielding support to get them to a point where playing their instrument becomes a lifestyle choice. It will come... but it will take time.

Take inspiration fromThe Virginia Strings Project - three young men, all siblings, who are grateful (now) for the years of music lessons and orchestra rehearsals that their parents made them take. I don't think they played their instruments this joyfully - or proficiently - at the start of their journey. That came through consistency, and it took time.

Life is chaotic. I get it. The good news is, you don't need to find hours of non-existent time in your family's schedule for music. You just need to find a few minutes, anchored to key activities every day that makes it easy for a habit to develop. And once a habit is formed, you will always be able to settle back into it again should the routine be temporarily disrupted for any reason.

Start with 5 minutes or 10 minutes. Even 2 minutes. Set the timer for reluctant children if needed and give them permission to escape once the timer runs out. We know from the neuroscience that daily practice, however short, is far more effective than a once a week hour-long blitz, because the brain becomes much more more efficient with regular repetitions than with inconsitency.

Also, show interest. Listen in. Ask genuine questions. Show appreciation for when they make progress and encourage them when they are struggle. Be their most loyal, and loving cheerleader.

Music can be one activity that you bond over, for life. Honestly.

Categories: : Music Mums and Dads